On another slow day at the bakery, Bianca decorated a birthday cake. It was one of three orders for the entire day. She could have used her cream powers, but would rather do that than sit around feeling bad that there were no customers. Over on a side table, she reached for a box to pack up the cake. Underneath the table, she pet Butters, who was sleeping. As she wrapped up the order, she looked up from the birthday cake at the calm little kitty. It struck her that Butters didn’t have a birthday. Or at least, she didn’t know it.

Bianca knelt down, sad to never have celebrated her best friend. She pet him softly so she didn’t wake him, and thought of a way to rectify this oversight. Butters loved her pastries, and ate them often. A regular pastry wouldn’t be enough to express her appreciation for him, however. She suited up. BakeSale closed the shop in the middle of the day and as Butters slept, she summoned a cream portal. It was a power she reserved for dire need only, as the only place it could bring her was into the Cream Realm. None would ever choose to go to the Cream Realm unless it was absolutely necessary.

As she stepped in, BakeSale slipped and began to slide down a mountain of icing. Sugar spikes jutted from the ground ahead, so she quickly had to get to her feet and command the cream. But doing so drew the attention of the entire realm. It was a lifeform all its own, a single being comprising an entire universe of sugary, viscous goop. She didn’t care about the eyes on her. She was seeking something she’d seen when she first was given her power. 

BakeSale neared the core of the Cream Realm on a cream-board. Creamon awaited her there.

“THE FATED RETURN.” he announced. BakeSale bumped him over, hearing a grunty “GRUGGH” as he fell.

The cake-head hero stood above the core, where cream thinned. She bent over and wiped away cream from what she was there to retrieve. Remembering her training and her time there, she recited to herself, “Cream is nothing without crumb.”

With that, she plunged her hand into the crumbly core of the Cream Realm and grabbed an ever-crumbling chunk. In her hand, it was like popcorn spilling over constantly. Just delicious nuggets of perfection multiplying and falling away. She turned to leave, but first, shot a blast of icing, covered Creamon in a layer of cream just as he was getting back to his floppy, tentacle ‘feet’. A muffled shout came from the mound, “THIEF!”.

BakeSale opened the cream portal and stepped out, back into the bakery. It closed behind her instantly. The crumble core became an issue in no time. The bakery was filling with crumbs, though it wasn’t waking Butters, even after it covered him completely. BakeSale focused her ability on the crumbs and gathered them all in one place at the center of the bakery floor. The little bits glowed BakeSale pink, swirled around, still resisting her power as best as they could, but she overcame them.

Suddenly, the crumbs were still. BakeSale formed them into a single object. It was one large crumb. Not exciting enough… especially for Butters’ new birthday. She looked around. He’d eaten tons of cake, croissants, biscuits, cookies… “Has Butters ever had a muffin?” She wondered. With her pastry power, she formed the crumbs into a muffin. This was no treat for little kitty Butters. She needed big Butters to be the one to wake up to her surprise. So she screamed as if being attacked.

BOOM

Butters reacted out of his slumber, blowing up into his hulking form. He saw that Bianca was standing there smiling, beside a giant muffin, taller than him, that had the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTTERS” written on top.

“Happy Birthday, Butters!!!” Bianca jumped up to hug the big furball. As she latched onto his arm, which lifted to point at the muffin. Bianca looked backwards and noticed the muffin wasn’t just sitting where she created it. It was shuffling around the Bakery slowly. It bumped the main display counter and crashed into the floor. Some pieces broke off of the main body and became baby muffins, forming legs and running frantically. Butters got excited and put down Bianca, chasing the little muffins. Bianca watched as he munched them, happy that he was enjoying his birthday surprise.

Once he caught most of the tiny muffins, he picked up the big one and sat it in front of him. For the next few days, he scratched at it repeatedly. Chunks would fall off for him to chase and eat. It was a delight for him to be able to have fun and eat. The best present ever.

To Butters and Bianca’s surprise, the muffin developed a face. It was a very sad face, as if existence as a scratching post was torture. Butters stopped treating it poorly, seeing the pain in its freaky, jet-black eyes.

“Maybe it’s time we let it go.” Bianca suggested. Butters nodded in response.

Bianca closed her eyes and lifted the muffin up into the air. It spun around and transformed, glowing bright pink. The wrapper on its lower half became pants. It grew arms and cream gloves, legs and cream shoes. It was silent as it spun around, and then BakeSale released it.

“I relinquish any control over this pastry.” she stated, solidifying the muffins freedom.

Without hesitation, as soon as it hit the floor, the muffin took off running, fearing Butters would come after it. Bianca looked at her cat, who was already asleep. She then started decorating a new cake.

A customer walked in after seeing the giant fleeing the shop.

“Was that your last Chunky Muffin?”

 

Chunky Muffin fled the bakery, at long last escaping his captors. He ran down the sidewalk wildly, as if being chased. Wind scraped off a few crumbs from his back, which then landed on the ground, sprouted a wrapping and faces of their own before being scooped up and eaten by pedestrians who just dodged Chunk barreling past them. The muffin man turned a corner and backed up against a wall to catch his breath, many blocks from the bakery. He looked to his side and realized the building he was using as cover was a pawn shop.

A classic revolver was on display behind the counter inside the store. It was exactly why Chunky Muffin went there. He pointed up at the gun and looked into the eye of the shop owner, who somehow was unfazed by the pastry’s presence.

“And how are you planning to pay for that?”

“I don’t have any form of currency, kind sir. I can, however, pay you in muffins.”

The shopkeeper plucked off a couple of pieces of Chunky Muffin’s crust and waited a moment as they grew into two large, sentient muffins. He ate one of them and then looked at the other one cruelly. “You work for me now.” He left the wrapper of the other muffin beside this one and told it to clean up the mess.

“Here you go.”

“You have my eternal gratitude.” Chunky Muffin bowed gently and tucked the gun in the back of his wrapper-pants. He stepped outside the store cautiously and checked around for the baker and her cat. Nowhere to be seen.

Down the street, Beefatron was running as a ravenous hoard amassed behind him. Each time someone reached the meaty monster, their first physical contact with it would cause them to be fully absorbed into it. However unwilling to harm people Beefy was, it was his nature. Nobody could resist the succulent attraction from the beef lord and he was designed to take in all organic material and use it to become the supreme food source.

Chunky Muffin walked through a group of young trouble makers carelessly.

“HEY. Wait up big muffin.” the leader called out.

“Chunky Muffin.” the confection issued a correction.

“Alright, THICK BOI.” the kids jested, circling Chunk. “Where’d you come from?”

“I’m not certain of that myself.”

“Does this hurt?” one of the ruffians grabbed a piece of Chunk’s face.

“Not at all.” Chunky Muffin smiled.

“What about this?” the leader kicked him right between the legs.

“Yes. My wrapper seems to be very sensitive.”

“Oh, so we gotta go for the wrapper.” one of them said, yanking down the wrapper, exposing a soft and pale undercarriage.

“Look at that!” they all laughed.

“Please, stop.” Chunky Muffin requested. This only served to infuriate the crew, who then banded together to push him over and roll him into the street.

“Let’s kick him until a car comes.” the leader suggested, and they did so.

Chunky Muffin curled into a ball and wept, considering grabbing his gun but wishing no violence upon anyone. All the crumbs that kept coming out of him fled as they became sentient - some were stomped out by the gang. He wondered for a moment if this world would consist of constant fleeing from danger and torture. None of them noticed that they rolled him directly in front of Beefatron’s path. The meat machine fell over him and absorbed all the kids harassing him. He kept rolling and got covered in the crumbs lying around, which expanded in his meaty pores. The mass of people chasing simply came to their senses as the tiny muffins forming on Beefatron’s delicious exterior dampened the powerful aroma it gave off. As the street emptied, Chunky Muffin helped Beefatron up and brushed him off.

“The pieces that came off your body stopped those people from getting eaten by my body.” Beefatron smiled.

“Well, that’s excellent news.” Chunk replied happily.

The two held hands and walked down the street together. Best friends forever.