Astrognome

Alan Gopogo stood in line outside the convention center, eyeing all the sights behind the ticket booth. For many years, his parents refused to let him go, but with him meeting up with his new friends Charlie Cakes and Sammy Pringlepop, they felt more comfortable. There was not a single event, celebrity, or artist that he was there to see… he wanted to see them all.

He was next in line when he received a text message from Sammy: “We’re inside, meet you at at the entrance!”. Alan went to respond to the message when the ticket checker grew impatient.

“Next.” she said loudly. Alan put his phone away quickly and smiled at her.

“Just one for the day.” He announced excitedly, holding out cash. She rolled her eyes, took the money and gave him a ticket and a wristband.

“Enjoy.” she said enthusiastically, waving him by.

Alan stepped into the room, amazement washing over him. He didn’t know where to look. Everything was so enticing, two floors of merchant tables and celebrity booths around them, signs for events throughout the day. He looked at all the cosplayers and took mental notes for outfits for the following year, as he was forced to dress in a matching 3-man costume with Charlie and Sammy.

They all agreed to dress as Build-Up, an obscure, cartoon superhero. Alan was designated to dress as one of the pieces, Breakdown, Sammy as Smackdown, and Charlie as Crackdown. Alan was a little disappointed with Breakdown, as it was the worst of the three, needing the other two to connect with it before it made any sense. He basically just looked like the butt of a large stone robot.

All would be fine soon, however. Alan texted Sammy back and asked where they were, knowing he’d easily spot them if they were still near the entrance. Sammy replied: “We’re in line for Shy Monster’s autograph.”

Alan texted back: “NO WAY.” and began to run through to the celebrity area.

Even new friends, Charlie and Sammy knew how much Alan loved Shy Monster as a child. He scoured the booths looking for the tiny creature of movie fame.

Minutes went by and Alan corresponded spottily with his friends to no avail. Finally, he found himself near the bathrooms of the convention center. Through one of the sheets draped on the back of a booth, he saw a pointy red spike headed to the bathroom. He recognized it instantly, though obscured through the fabric. Alan ran around the row and towards the bathroom. He couldn’t believe he was about to meet the real Shy Monster. People laughed at him, seeing his ridiculous outfit. He was too excited to be truly humiliated.

Alan opened the door and saw nobody in the bathroom. Beside the sink, he saw the red spike, but it was just a hat. Though feeling foolish that he mistook it for his childhood idol, he figured he should make the most of the moment. He placed the hat on his head to see how it looked. 

The bathroom melted away, and Alan was staring directly into the universe. He was filled with knowledge beyond what he’d ever learned.

Every object that operated anywhere was giving him information. It was difficult to focus with all the noise. Confusion trapped his mind for eons as he strove for clarity. He had forgotten everything from his past, all that he had left was a quest for silence.

Out of nowhere, the bathroom reappeared. The hat on his head was knocked off by someone’s large, pointy costume. It was a shy monster costume.

Alan slowly regrouped, hazy about what he’d experienced. He asked the man at the urinal, “Where is Shy Monster? I really wanted an autograph.”

“He didn’t come this year, sorry bud.” the man chuckled at Alan’s costume before leaving the bathroom.

Alan knew instantly that he’d been played. He texted Sammy: “You guys aren’t here, are you?”

Sammy responded, “No, you little nerd, of course we’re not.”

Alan took a deep, sad breath. He walked to the exit of the convention center, feeling like more of a loser, more isolated than ever before.

Outside the doors, Sammy and Charlie stood with another classmate named Brenden Buttersnatch. They took pictures of Alan’s costume and posted them online.

“Look at this loser! What even is that costume?” Their laughter was cruel and Alan felt instead of sadness… rage.

They got in their car and drove away laughing. Alan took off his costume and left it on the ground. Then he walked beside the convention center, where nobody else was. He placed the hat on his head, and this time, he had full control. His human brian took charge of his new, astral form. 

The bullies’ car vanished, and the three boys were lifted and placed in the center of the convention. Alan thought of the perfect punishment, where nobody would get hurt. He thought the boys should follow through with their obligations.

Sammy was transformed into Smackdown, Charlie into Crackdown and with Alan out of the picture, Brenden would be the perfect Breakdown. 

The boys were then forced to join, becoming Build-Up. The crowd gathering around thought it was an event, so they applauded, or walked by without a glance.

Alan wasn’t finished. The convention needed some love. He added a main booth, with shirts displaying his own astral form. Afterwards, he gave everyone similar merchandise, bears and red cone hats to wear and put them in a line at his booth. They all assumed it was part of the con and that this was a main event.

When Alan was done, he returned to human form and bought a shirt for himself. Walking around the convention, though everyone was slightly confused and wearing his merch, many people complimented his new shirt. He felt famous, like a celebrit