Chronicle 59

Chunky Muffin rolled Beefatron down the central path of the mall. Ravenous shoppers flung themselves at the meat log. His scent was circulating and strengthening within the building, strong enough to wipe the shopping list out of everyone’s brains. Unintentionally creating mindless meat-obsessed bodies.

“Please, Chunks… I don’t want to hurt anyone else.” Beefatron had synthetic tears welling up in his eyes. His volume was all over the place as he repeatedly spun onward.

“I’m doing my very best to crumb for you, Beef. My sheddings are falling behind me. I can’t produce any for you while I’m running.”

“Let’s turn around.” Beefatron suggested.

It was genius. Roll over all the baby muffins running around to shield the humans from his beef absorption. There was one issue. “What about all these nice people running behind me?”

“Here.” Beefatron handed Chunky Muffin a piece of beef straight from his body. “Now turn left and throw that chunk of beef forward.”

Chunky Muffin nearly fell over while ripping a turn so quickly. Could it have worked? People continued forward to dogpile over the beef filet in the main area. Success. Chunky Muffin rolled Beefatron back towards the food court. Beefatron felt many small bumps on the way. His plan had worked completely. In the clearing they’d made the night before, he was able to stand. No new shoppers came for him as crumbly goodness filled his stink pores.

“Very clever!” Mad Mouth’s voice returned. The mall began to clear out as his mouthy henchmen roughed up some of the populace. “I’m surprised! You two oafs seem to be the cause of your own trouble. You might be the most useless beings we’ve ever seen.”

He and his henchmen laughed, approaching the food court to face off with the food.

“We are not oafs.” Beefatron said.

“I’m a muffin.” Chunky Muffin said.

“Right. Let’s be through with this.”

Mad Mouth’s massive maw spread wide and he began to inhale. Beefatron held Chunky Muffin close as he rose into the air, rooting him to the spot. The tables, chairs and decor of the food court blew past them into the villain’s mouth. Seeing they weren’t moving, Mad Mouth stopped.

“You hurt a lot of people.” Beefatron accused.

“I just opened the mall, meat thing. You killed them.”

“No.” Beefatron’s tears returned.

“Beef, don’t listen to him.” Chunky Muffin shielded him from the harsh words.

“Sure, don’t listen to reason. Don’t listen to truth.” Mad Mouth’s henchmen moved in and he began to open wide again.

The pull was strong, but Beefatron was much heavier than he looked. And he looked very very heavy. The henchmen pulled Chunky Muffin away, peeling off his gloved fingers. Before he was removed, he snapped a pink chip off his own head and flicked it towards Mad Mouth.

“Delicious!” Mad Mouth’s teeth snapped shut.

Beefatron pulled a crumb off of his skin and sucked in both henchmen hassling his buddy. Chunky Muffin was safe for now.

“I used a pink piece on this villain.” Chunky Muffin shared.

“What does that do?” Beefatron asked.

Chunky Muffin shrugged, noticing a new pink chip replaced it on his head.

“Your defense was to feed me?” Mad Mouth laughed. “You two are morons.”

“We’re not morons.” Beefatron refuted.

“I’m a muffin…” Chunky Muffin repeated. He looked at Beef. “Can he hear me?”

“It’s time you two left my place of business. It’s time to die.” Mad Mouth sucked in air with great force, lifting even the meat machine.

Chunky Muffin hugged Beefatron as they both began to pass Mad Mouth’s teeth and enter his expansive throat. He wiped Beef’s tears away and they smiled at each other in their final moments.

“MAD MOOOOUTH!” a voice shouted. The pair tumbled out of his mouth and onto the floor.

Mad Mouth turned around in confusion. “The Food Friends!?”

“That’s right. And you’re in for one heck of a meal.”

“What does that even mean?”

A lettuce hero surrounded Mad Mouth entirely, trapping him in overlapping layers of leaves. A sauce hero dumped ketchup, mayo and mustard over him to seal him in. A tortilla hero wrapped itself around the villain and secured itself with a fold.

“Nice job, you two.” the voice of the group, a woman made of sushi tubes, spoke. “We’ve been trying to shut that mouth for months.”

“We were going to be eaten.” Chunky Muffin smiled.

In unison, the many foods working in tandem stated, “That’s why it’s good to have FOOD FRIENDS.” and then there was silence throughout the mall as everyone stared at each other.

“We’re going to take him to the police. Here.” the sushi hero handed Beefatron a paper with some writing. “It’s the location of our headquarters. The password is ‘Food Friends’ if you decide to come.

With serious coordination, they left the mall in unnecessary flashy displays of traversal, carrying Mad Mouth cautiously along.

“We should really leave the city now.” Beefatron said.

“It would be wrong not to join the Food Friends. They saved us after all.”

“Chunks… The longer I stay here, the more people I hurt. Can we just go? Find somewhere like we talked about?” Beefatron pleaded.

“Let’s leave after we visit our new friends and thank them. I promise after that we can leave the city and find somewhere to be together without the concern that you will devour people unintentionally.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

The two rested in the food court and in the morning, made their way out of the mall to unite with the Food Friends.